Olaf was actually a perfectly normal elk. He liked to go for walks in the forest, loved to eat mushrooms with blueberries, and in his free time he frightened drivers. Your life could have been just as calm and peaceful as that of any other elk. If only. That's easy to say. In reality, Olaf was not a normal elk at all; quite the opposite.
There had been difficulties from the start. Olaf had been born with strikingly large antlers. Never before had a baby elk been seen with such huge antlers.
Olaf grew up as an orphan with his aunt. His mother had died when he was born, and he had never seen his father. Even as a child, Olaf's large antlers would often get him into trouble.
The other moose enjoyed teasing him.
Olaf often came home with a terrible headache.
Olaf became a loner. He would roam the forest alone for hours, always taking care to hold the large antlers at an angle to the direction of travel. It looked a bit strange, but at least he didn't bump into anything.
Sometimes Olaf would walk to the country road and scare the drivers.
But Olaf's favourite place to paddle was on the big, quiet lake.
One day, disaster struck.
Olaf was on his way home through the forest when he encountered two bears. Olaf was not afraid of bears, because with his shovels he could deliver a mighty slap in an emergency. The bears knew this very well and in an open field they would never have dared to hassle Olaf. But now, between the trees, everything was quite different. The bears were quite drunk, and Olaf was blinded by rage..
Now, Olaf had only one shovel on his head. That made him an outsider for good. However, Olaf was not the type to be discouraged by strokes of fate of this kind. On the contrary, he soon found out what you could do with the broken shovel.
And the day came when Olaf taught two particular bears an unforgettable lesson with the help of his broken shovel.
As for his professional future, however, Olaf had a very poor hand. Moose usually earn their money during the Christmas season. They are harnessed to a sleigh, stand in front of a department store, have their picture taken, walk around as a tourist attraction through winter sports resorts, scare some drivers for television – you name it. In any case, a requirement for all these tasks is intact antlers. Every credible elk must have a shovel on each side of its head. That is a prerequisite. Otherwise, you don't even need to show up.
Once again, Olaf had gone to the country road out of habit, hoping to scare a stupid driver. Olaf had barely taken cover behind a tree when he heard a distinct engine noise. It didn't sound like a modern car, though, but more like a decrepit steam engine. When the noise came very close, Olaf jumped out from behind the tree, held the broken shovel across the road like a ladle, and shouted in an authoritative voice: “Stop! Roadside check!”
Normally, every driver panics, yanks on the wheel, swerves out of control and ends up in the ditch. Anyone who has ever driven in northern Europe is familiar with this embarrassing situation: you curse as you push the car out of the ditch, while a smirking elk (usually several of them) points at you and can't contain themselves with glee.
This time, everything was quite different.
Olaf saw an old-fashioned truck that came to a panting stop. Up front on the seat, a Santa was sitting in full gear. He clapped his hands, jumped out from behind the wheel and came directly to Olaf.
“What luck,“ Santa shouted, and only now did Olaf notice that the red-uniformed man wore a black patch over his left eye. ‘What luck that I meet you here!’ Santa repeated. ‘Just now, in the middle of nowhere, the old mill conks out on me! And just at this moment you come to my aid.’
“Pure coincidence,” said Olaf, somewhat embarrassed.
“Oh nonsense,” Santa shouted, ‘this is no coincidence, this is a miracle! A real miracle!’
Olaf helped Santa get the truck going again. They talked about this and that, and at the end of a long day, the two finally arrived at Santa's hut.
“Well then, I'd better be on my way again,“ said Olaf.
“That's out of the question,” said Santa. “You're my guest today. I have a cozy barn behind the house where you can spend the night. But first, let's have another nice shot of aquavit!” It would be a long evening, or rather a long night. When the new day dawned, Olaf had not only found a friend, but also a job. “Listen, Olaf,” Santa had called out towards morning, ”I'm tired of doing all the work alone. I need a partner. You and I are a team now! You call the shots and I'll tell you what to do, or vice versa!”
Olaf moved into the barn behind Santa's hut.
After breakfast, the two friends usually played a little badminton. However, Santa didn't stand a chance against Olaf.
During the long vacation months before the start of the Christmas season, there was plenty of time for nice trips and interesting activities.
In the evenings, the two of them often enjoyed playing a game of Mau-Mau in the hut. However, Olaf didn't stand a chance against Santa.
On the first of December, the vacation was over. Now it was time to tackle the Christmas preparations. Orders poured in daily. The fax machine spat out long wish lists from morning till night.
Olaf and Santa Claus had their hands full sorting through and organizing the orders. Manufacturers and producers had to be called, prices and special offers had to be compared. Most children wished for normal toys, some also a bicycle or a computer. The many requests for pets were more difficult to process. Dogs and cats were easy to get, but when it came to parrots, snakes or rare spiders, the two friends sometimes had to search for suppliers for days, if necessary even on the internet.
And then there were the impossible wishes. These were filed in a special folder. It was unbelievable what Olaf and Santa Claus sometimes had to read. For example, a Robert wanted a robot to do his homework. A Florian wanted an aircraft carrier. A Louisa wanted a living dinosaur. The folder with the impossible wishes grew thicker and thicker.
They had to get up and shovel snow before daybreak. Then a cup of coffee, and off to the office. Some evenings, Olaf and Santa were so exhausted that they couldn't even play a round of Mau-Mau.
One morning, Olaf made a nasty discovery. His shovel was gone! He had leaned it against the outside of the hut the night before, just to the right of the door. And now the shovel was gone! Olaf searched the entire house and barn feverishly. He looked in the tool shed and in the garage. Then he started all over again, and it took him quite a while to finally realize: the shovel was gone.
Someone must have stolen it. Maybe the bears, maybe some tourists or souvenir hunters. Whoever it was, the shovel was gone. He went into his barn, closed the door, went to bed and turned toward the wall. Christmas was getting closer and closer. Orders were piling up at the office, the mailbox was overflowing, and it was high time to go into town and take care of the last few errands.
Olaf lay silently in bed and did not stir. Santa tried to comfort his friend as best he could. He brought him cocoa, canned blueberries and dried mushrooms to bed, he talked to him, he pleaded, he scolded, he begged – to no avail. Olaf would not eat. And he did not want to get up either. The day before Christmas Eve, Santa drove into town alone, with a heavy heart. Before he left, he brought Olaf a nice breakfast in the barn, fluffed his pillow again, and wished him a speedy recovery. There was nothing more he could do at the moment.
The city was barely recognizable. The streets were teeming with people, bustling and bustling, like an anthill. People pushed their way hectically and nervously through the pedestrian zone and crowded into the overcrowded department stores. Drivers honked and swore, and there were constant rear-end collisions and arguments. And all because of Christmas. Something went wrong there, he thought, Santa Claus.
He drove to the post office, to the customs office and to the warehouses. Hundreds of packages, parcels, sacks and boxes had to be picked up and loaded. Never before had the post office clerks, the customs officers and the warehouse workers seemed so grumpy and unfriendly to Santa.
Even the worst day comes to an end. The moment arrived when Santa checked off the very last order. “Done!” he said loudly and closed his order book. Hopefully, Olaf will be able to ride along on the big gift-delivering trip tomorrow, he thought.
Santa was stuck in the evening traffic and wondered why the traffic lights were showing red for such an endlessly long time that day. Then, by chance, his eye fell on the shop window of a junk shop. “No,” he said, “this can't be true!” He left the truck in the middle of the road and rushed into the shop.
“Can I help you?“ asked the man behind the counter.
Outside, several cars honked wildly in confusion. ‘How much is the antler shovel in the window?’ asked Santa.
“A hundred crowns.” “I'll take it for fifty,” said Santa.
The honking grew louder. “Eighty.”
“Look, it's only half an antler!” said Santa Claus in a raised voice to drown out the noise of the car horns.
“Seventy,” the merchant said. ”That's my final offer. But I'll make you a deal. I'll throw in this glass eye.”
Santa put seventy kroner on the table, grabbed the glass eye and Olaf's antlers, and left the store without a word. The traffic light just changed from green to red again. Santa ignored the wild honking and drove off. It was already dark when Santa arrived home. He immediately ran to the barn. Olaf was lying in bed. “Hi there!” said Santa. “How are you? Look what I brought you.”
Tired, Olaf turned his head. “What do you look like?” he asked. Only then did he notice what Santa was holding in his hands.
“No,” whispered Olaf, ‘this can't be true!’ Olaf jumped out of bed as if electrified and hugged Santa so hard that he got a little scared in his new glass eye. ‘This is the best Christmas present ever,’ Olaf exclaimed. Then they fetched the best bottle of red wine from the cellar and cooked a delicious mushroom ragout. This was followed by blueberry compote..
On Christmas Eve, just before dusk, Olaf and Santa set off on their big gift-giving tour.
“I'm already looking forward to when all this hustle and bustle is over,” said Santa. ‘Then we can finally sleep in again.”
“And when we've had a good night's sleep,’ said Olaf, ”then maybe we could go ice hockey. What do you think?”
© 2002 - With kind permission of Volker Kriegel
( * December 24, 1943 - † June 14, 2003 )
The book is available here
English translation: Chiara Runge